My value is not determined by what people think about me.

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” by Marcus Aurelius

People will talk. They always have. And they always will. No matter what you do or say, how you behave, the way you walk or dress, how you act, or the decisions you make, will always be scrutinized by others. It’s the nature of the masses.

Like the herd of lions swooping in for the kill, they prey on the weak, looking for those they can taunt and torment. And it gets to us. We allow other people’s opinions to not only hurt us, but often times, to define us.

Their opinions are not sufficient evidence to rightly convict me in my court of value. They do not get the right to set my worth by their off-balanced measuring stick or skewed perspective. If anyone places you in a situation where you have to prove yourself to be accepted then remove yourself.

I do not bow or bend to seek validation to any man and you shouldn’t either. And anyone who assumes you should must realize that he just played himself and his/her desire for us to prove ourselves is above us now. We would do it (and we could do it), but that would be beneath us.

Throughout history, people have always found someone to talk about. They’ve ganged up on those they perceived as different, or in some way a threat to their own existence.

This is steeped in our society and culture, and goes back towards the dawn of modern man. Why do you torment others for no real purpose? Why do we cast out those who are different? What is it about human society that makes this something so ingrained into our lives?

No matter what the naysayers and the purveyors of negativity around you might say, your self-worth is not defined by an approval rating. There is no objective rating scale that allows another person to judge you.

They do not know what you have been through. They do not know your story, your trials, your tribulations, or the path you have walked through the shadow of the valley of death. No, it simply does not work that way.

It is literally impossible to please everyone. No matter what decision you make, someone is going to be upset. Someone is going to have an opinion of which path you follow or which direction you choose.

They will judge you on what you do for your children, what you do for your career, what you do for your education, who your friends are, the places you spend your time, what you do for a living, and everything else in between.

Turn the other cheek no matter how much it burns you or hurts you inside to do so. At the end of the day, you’ll be glad you did. You will be glad you stayed in the realm of positivity rather than flinging yourself into the ring of negativity. – Robert Kanaat.

Let today be the day that you set your value. Ask yourself how would your life be different if you stopped allowing other people to dilute your worth and effectiveness with their opinions. Detach yourself from needing the validation of others and be secure in who you are.

Do not continue making the vulgar mistake of trying to be accepted by anyone or anything, and be confident when removing yourself from situations that requires you to first prove your worth before joining their company.

Never forget that value does not beg and it does not feel the need to go on sale just to be accepted. At times, you have to remind yourself and others of your worth—with a healthy estimation that is not overvalued—or remove yourself. Because nothing really shows the value of presence like not having it in absence.

But it does not matter what other people think of you. It does not matter what other people say about you behind closed doors or even right in front of your face.

Their opinions have no basis in defining what you are all about. They are not the truth. They have no purpose other than to hurt or harm you. There is no rhyme or reason beyond making the other person feel superior to you in some way or another.

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Until next week Tuesday, bye-bye for now.

Yours Truly
Tshepo Ishmael Phetoane
Editor: FS News Online