Never be ashamed of your present situation.

I have found out that many people are dying slowly in a secret tomb of shame. Some are ashamed of their poor financial condition, plagued with guilt about their irresponsible spending and debt.

Others are ashamed about their poor upbringing from their past. Others are ashamed of their lack of employment or being unemployed. Others are ashamed of living in poverty, with no clothes to wear; food to eat or no house/shelter to call home. Others are ashamed of sins of their forefathers, fathers, mothers, family or relatives.

Many carry this extreme guilt with them into their future relationships, friendships and marriages. Shame usually follows a pattern. A cycle of self-recrimination and lies that claims life after life. First, we experience an intensely painful event. Second, we believe the lie that our pain and failure is who we are.

It is never just something that we have done or had been done to us. Ultimately, our feelings of shame trap us into thinking that we can never recover and we do not even deserve a better life.

The truth is, you do not have to be ashamed of your life. This includes amongst others, how you live it or who you live it with. The important part of life is that you are responsible to create happiness in your own life as well as make a difference in the lives of others.

Never hold grudges. Grudges breed more anger, shame, loneliness, abandonment, resentment, jealousy and greed. Never be ashamed to forgive anyone who has wronged you or not wronged you likewise.

Forgiving is important to move forward in life. It means you are allowing yourself to let go. You free yourself from the bondage and chains. A person finds true happiness through three things: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.

The dreamers know all about hope and how it is inevitable to have that hope tested by people who tell you to “be realistic” and prepare for the worst.

I am not saying that every day will be a bed of roses. The reality is; you will have obstacles to overcome and battles to win but that does not mean that you have to let life kick you while you’re down. It is impossible to predict when a bad day is going to come but thinking positive throughout those bad days will make you more resilient next time you are challenged with one.

Trials and tribulation ultimately create experience and wisdom. There are lots of bumps along the road of life. Do not let those minor bumps turn into mountains. There are going to be moments that you wish you can do over and that you learn from your past mistakes.

We all want to live happy, fulfilling lives. To do so, it takes a conscious effort. A lot of energy and sometimes, even a lot of time. Striving to do your best is always an admirable feat and should be revered, not frowned upon.

Anyone who tries to make you feel ashamed for striving may simply be ashamed of themselves for not striving to be their own optimal self. Where you start does not necessarily determine where you will end.

I have seen sons and daughters of domestic workers, gardeners, taxi drivers and so on; become highly respected professionals, presidents, pioneers, etc. So, never be ashamed of what and who you are. The power to change or become what you want to be, rest in you and only you.

Go out there, with your head held high and conquer the world. Life does not owe you anything. On the contrary, you owe life so much because you have got so much to give.

Never live with the idea that is going to die but rather; die with the idea that is going to live.

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Until next week Tuesday, bye-bye for now.

Yours Truly
Tshepo Ishmael Phetoane
Editor: FS News Online
Email: iphetoane@fsnewsonline.co.za

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