Never live your life defending yourself.

There is a simple fact of life. That is, no-one is going to like everything you do. Even your most fanatical friends, family, relatives, foes, colleagues or supporters will get mad or angry at you for something you do or say, sometimes even for something you never said.

There is an old saying that; if you do not upset at least one person, you are not doing it right (whatever “it” might be). To qualify this, the world is so cruel that if you are doing the right things, people get rattled and becomes afraid of your presence that they will start saying things to unsettle you.

So when a negative comment is made about you, you then have a decision to make. Do you respond, or ignore, based on relevance and approach of the negativity or you keep your silence and keep on walking. I choose not to keep on defending myself because it is really not worth.

We have a better purpose in life than to worry about things or people who want to advance their careers, agendas or businesses.
We have all have toxic people dust us with their poison. Sometimes it is more like a drenching.

Difficult people are drawn to the reasonable ones and all of us have likely had or have at least one person in our lives who have us bending around ourselves like barbed wire in endless attempts to please them, only to never really get there or meet their “standards” or devious plans.

Their damage lies in their subtle way they can engender that classic response; “It is not them, it is me.” They can have you questioning your over-reactiveness, your oversensitivity, your business or life. If you are the one who is continually hurt or the one who is constantly adjusting your own behaviour to avoid being hurt, then chances are that it is not you and it is very much them.

Being able to spot their harmful behaviour is the first step to minimising their impact. You might not be able to change what they do, but you can change what you do with it and any idea that toxic somebody in your life might have that they can get away with it.

There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.

Most negative people behave negatively not just to you, but to everyone they interact with. Start spending time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded. Relationships should help you, not hurt you.

Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you, people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.

Practice acts of kindness. It’s a lot harder to be negative when you’re in the presence of love and kindness. Kill your detractors with kindness and helping hands.

An entire body of water the size of the Pacific Ocean can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, all the negativity in the world can’t bring you down unless you allow it to get inside your head.

People who are able to discern the positive points in negative situations are the ones who prosper in the long run. So defend yourself against the ‘negative way’ and make room for a positive day.

Those people who spend their time looking for faults in others, usually spend no time to correct their own.

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Until next week Tuesday, bye-bye for now.
Yours Truly
Tshepo Ishmael Phetoane
Editor: FS News Online
Email: iphetoane@fsnewsonline.co.za

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